The Virus

“I am aware of all internet traditions.”

It’s a vroom vroom future rocket bubble car thing!

Too busy. Bring your own monkeys.

Videos

Pixies: Monkey Gone To Heaven!

Poker-Playing Monkey!

Monkey Island: A Pirate I Was Meant To Be!

Photos

(Something Awful)

(ratemygasmask.com)

From Samara:
Here’s a cinematic monkey and friend from “Aguirre: Wrath of God”.

Monkey monkey monkey TUESDAY!

Monkeys in the news:

Photos of baby colobus monkey born at Central Park Zoo

Court to rule if chimp has human rights

Chimp facial cues

Videos (also of monkeys)

Elvis Costello - Monkey to Man

Monkey vs. Tiger

Comic act Nina Conti and Monk

Who Wants To Kiss A Monkey?

Hanuman Monkey Chant

IT’S MONKEY TUESDAY! And we’re celebrating with a sight that Penn Gillette often cited as “nothing funnier than…”

MONKEYS SMOKING!

It’s The YouTubes!

More footage of the same chimp!

A smoking orangutan!

They Report, We Laugh

A smoking chimp in Beijing tries to kick the habit.

After having his chimp confiscated, a Plano, TX man sends the monkey sexually explicit audio tapes. I could make a ’spanking the monkey’ joke right here, but that would be beneath me. Just like this guy’s chimp was beneath him. (No smoking involved, except possibly of pole.)

Pictures! Of monkeys!

This monkey looked weird enough without the cigarette.

(Found at Flat Rock, and a million other places on the Interwebs.)

Smoking monkey cigarette case!

For sale at Accoutrements.com

Monkey-shaped cigarette lighter!

Found by Collector Kevin.

MONKEY! CIGAR! COMPUTER! FEZ!

By illustrator Marcel Baker.

After last week’s first fabulous foray into the magical realm of MONKEY TUESDAY, we got linked by the super-nifty iTricks.com, who contributed their own brand of Monkey Joy. So go check that out.

iTricks.com specializes in news from the world of professional magic, so if you’d like to keep up on what all the big name illusionists and mentalists and whatnot are up to, this is the place to be.

It’s always Tuesday in California.
I don’t enjoy talking, so here, have some monkeys and monkey-related entertainment.

Videos

Family Guy - Hiroshima

Jonathan Coulton - Code Monkey

The first WoW video I’ve actually found entertaining.

Trunk-monkey!

I’d like to see a bikelemur, but that’s just me.

CYBORG MONKEY REVOLUTION

I could go into the scientific, political, and philosophical issues of having new robot limbs and/or keeping animals immobile in boxes and/or retarded internet flamewars about what the word “reenactment” means, but this is about monkeys. Monkeys aren’t Serious Business.

Photos
The photos for this week were supposed to be all cute, big-eyed primates, but I quickly realised how absolutely creepy things with big eyes are. So I guess it’s Scary Monkey Day.

Tarsier.

It’s so tiny and adorable awww! Look at the hands! Look at the little bitty face!
And thus ends the cuteness for the evening.
(Farl)

Loris?

(Joachim S. Müller)

Very slender loris.

“An interesting fact about the slender loris: the male’s penis is shorter than the female’s clitoris.”
(kevinzim)

What.

(Phooky)

HGYEEEGH

(Scragz)

… I don’t even have a caption. It’s monkeys on a car.

(Enygmatic-Halycon)

Courtesans and gentlefops! Welcome to Virus-Machine Dot Net’s first MONKEY TUESDAY!

Monkey Tuesday exists for a couple of reasons: firstly, to pay tribute to Penn Jillette, who used to do Monkey Tuesday on his radio show before it was cancelled; and secondly, because monkeys are awesome.For reference, Monkey Tuesday is open to all non-human primates, including old- and new-world monkeys and great apes — for our purposes, all these things fall under the category of Monkey, because ‘monkey’ is a much funnier word. So watch our monkeys, and submit monkeys of your own in the comments section.

Let’s start things off with a couple monkey videos!

New York Dolls - Dance Like a Monkey

Featuring a guest appearance by His Pastaness Most High, the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Dance, Monkeys, Dance

Amusingly, when I searched YouTube for these videos I got the following error:
500 Internal Server Error
Sorry, something went wrong.
A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.

Thank you, YouTube, for furthering the cause of hilarity by including Error Message Monkeys.

Ety: On the topic of monkeys, free flash Super Monkey Ball Minigames. Also…

Baby Aye-Aye:

(It looks like a monkey mated with a Chinese Crested dog.)

I THINK YOU HAVE SOMETHING ON YOUR UVULA¹ HERE LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU

(By Suneko)

ANGRY MONKEY

(By Dboy)

OH MY GOD IT’S GOING TO EAT MY SOUL

(pinhole)

¹ I’m curious, because my research is failing me: do non-human primates have uvulae?

Kinda. Sorta. It needs polished and painted, but there’s the basic design up as a holder.

I have absolutely nothing at all to say, so here’s a doodle of a gear:

Edit: Don’t forget to mark your calendars for this upcoming First Weekly Monkey Tuesday! (That’s March 12 13, 2007, for those chronologically challenged.)